Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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