You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
