That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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