ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
