is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
