Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
