I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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