i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
