problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
