I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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