if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize