So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No subtext here. People are naked.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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