My hand turned me down
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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