there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
