I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
