she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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