dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
