I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
