Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Randomize
