A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
