farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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