if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
