why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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