some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize