We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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