...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
