your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
