no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
