Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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