why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
