i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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