Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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