i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
