But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm bleeding and have questions
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
