idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
