i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
