So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
