We're like a lot better than the average bears
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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