Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
