I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
