school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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