it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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