I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
