Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
