You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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