he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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