nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
