I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I looked at my own cervix.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
