is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
