is your mom at the bar?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
