dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
