i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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