It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
