True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
