I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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