he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
