Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
