You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
