Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
