i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
