i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
