I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
