we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
