Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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