youre lurking in front of me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
