ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
