I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize