i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
